| Back To Fanfics |

Pay Attention Please
by Annie D

Dedication: This chapter is dedicated to my mum, who so nicely agreed to record the Slam Dunk anime episodes that I missed while I was at college. No, she doesn’t know about these fics, nor my ahem tilted point of view on Sakuragi and Rukawa, which is for the best, really.

Chapter 3: Looks Like It's Half Empty

All right, Rukawa would never admit it to anyone with half a brain cell, but he missed Shohoku.

Yes, he only missed Shohoku, and not anyone in particular that happened to be there. Really. He missed the way that the players constantly looked out for each other, how the gym had been a place of warm and fuzzy memories (at this point Rukawa’s brain almost short-circuited because of usage of the phrase "warm and fuzzy"), and how despite Rukawa’s own selfishness, the other players had respected him.

Of course, Sakuragi did not fit into any of the above points (the do’aho had never looked out for him, was never included in any of the warm and fuzzy memories, and most certainly did NOT respect him).

Rukawa scowled at himself. I thought I said not to think about him again!

"All right!" the coach announced, clapping his hands above his head. "Practice is over for today! Be back here tomorrow morning for postings!"

Postings? So soon? Rukawa blinked. Some of the other players were looking uncertain, some were smug, some were - like him - surprised at the news which had come out of the blue.

The coach shooed them all the general locker room - another psychological ploy of the team: the junior members were not given proper permanent lockers until they made the real team. It was usual for the room to be quiet with only a few members managing to chat it up a bit, but at that particular moment it was eerily silent as everyone contemplated their future.

Rukawa carefully opened his locker to take out his towel. Will I make the team? What if I don’t? What if…

He shook his head. No, he had to be optimistic. He would make the team.

"Sakuragi, are you okay?" Yohei asked.

Sakuragi cursed as he rested his forehead on the pavement, which had surely cracked after being hit by his iron-hard head four times in a row. It was really getting on his nerves that everyone was asking him the same thing over and over and over... Are you okay? Are you all right? What's wrong? Dammit people, the tensai is JUST FINE! Fine fine fine!

"Maybe he's hungry," Takamiya suggested.

"No, that's you," said Noma.

"Oh yeah."

Yohei kneeled down next to his best friend and peered at him. "Oi, Hanamichi."

Sakuragi leapt up roaring and headbutted all his friends one by one. "There's nothing wrong with the tensai! Why can't you people just–"

"Sakuragi-kun?"

"Uh - Haruko-san!" Sakuragi discarded his fiersome pose for a more relaxed, silly little boy one. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm walking home, of course," Haruko said, smiling. Then her expression took a more concerned one. "Actually, I was a little worried about you."

Tears flooded Sakuragi's eyes. She's worried about me...

"Can we just talk in private for a bit?" Haruko asked.

Sakuragi nodded eagerly, jumping over his fallen comrades. "Hai! Of course, Haruko-san."

Yohei waved weakly from his spot on the pavement. "Take your time, Hanamichi..."

Which was exactly what Sakuragi intended to do. He and Haruko walked a bit away from the rest of the gundam into the shady lee of a large elm, where they were able to talk privately. "So what is it, Haruko-san?"

All of a sudden her tiny hands darted out to grip the edges of his jacket. "What's wrong, Sakuragi-kun? Please tell me! When you first came back I was so happy, not only because of the team, but because you're my friend! But then... this past week, I can see that something's wrong with you. It's like the way you play... There's no more spirit there!"

Sakuragi gaped in bewilderment at her. "Huh?"

She let go of his jacket and sighed. "When you first joined the team, I remember that although you didn't like the game much at first, you still wanted to play, and so badly! You kept pushing yourself despite what everyone said about you, and I respected you so much for that! But now, something's different. It's like... It's like... Oh, I don't know what it's like..." She sighed.

Sakuragi stared at her. "Haruko-san..."

"I care for you, Sakuragi-kun," she said clearly, looking at him straight in the eye. "Tell me. Whatever it is, tell me."

"Tell you what?"

Haruko took a deep breath. "Why do you play basketball, Sakuragi-kun?"

On one side, Sakuragi's brain was on the verge of a total happy meltdown due to Haruko's unexpected outburst – she cares for me! – but on the other side was the rumbling workings of a total panic attack in response to her question.

"Uh..."

"Why? Tell me why." Her voice meant business. "Anything it is, tell me..."

Anything? That certainly made him feel better, although not by much. Sakuragi stared at the pavement as his breath started to itch somewhere in the higher portions of his lungs. Something at the back of his head was screaming frantically at him – although what it was saying, he couldn't really hear at the moment.

This was it. Sakuragi scrunched his eyes shut. "Haruko-san, I like you!"

Munchkins munchkins little dancing toadstools jump jump flying around little clouds lots of chocolate and smiley sun faces... Think of anything to numb the disappointment that would inevitably follow…

"Sakuragi-kun?" Haruko said softly – her voice was surprised, but strangely controlled.

Slowly, Sakuragi opened his eyes, terrified at what he would see. Was she angry? Sad? Disgusted? Disappointed? He peered at her timidly.

"Sakuragi-kun..." Haruko said again. "You..."

Sakuragi's eyes slammed shut again. Don't make me say it again, Haruko-san!

Then he felt the soft touch of her hand on his arm. He opened his eyes again to see her smiling at him. For a brief half second he felt like he was on Cloud 9 because of the fact that she was smiling, but then his brain finally registered how she was smiling. It was sadly.

"Sakuragi-kun..."

He backed away, staring intensely at the pavement as he raised a shaking finger. "Don't say it, Haruko-san. Don't say it. I... I know you only look at me as a friend or brother and I..." He laughed weakly. "I know that... I... I-I don't why I said it... I just needed to tell you."

"Sakuragi-kun. Look at me, please."

He complied.

"I must say... This is a bit of a surprise to me," she said, scratching the back of her neck nervously. "I never want to hurt you, ever..."

Sakuragi looked at her, this time just to look. He cocked his head this way and that, waiting for that moment when the disappointment and humiliation would slam into him into the expected shockwave. He blinked a few times. It didn’t seem like it would be arriving any moment soon.

Tenderness, check. Protectiveness, check. Disappointment level… 0.00

What the hell?

"Actually," he said, "it doesn't feel as bad as I thought it would. I feel... lighter. Like a burden's off my shoulders or something."

Haruko smiled. "I know you care about me, Sakuragi-kun. But I also know that I'm the first girl to care about you, too."

Sakuragi nodded slowly.

"Can it be possible," Haruko said slowly, "that you don't like me in that way? I mean, I don't mean to be rude but, most other girls are just scared of you, isn't it?"

Sakuragi twitched a nod. "Yeah."

Haruko looked at him steadily. "What do you want from me? Really."

Sakuragi spoke without thinking. "I want you to smile at me."

"I am smiling at you, Sakuragi-kun."

He blinked again, and a smile of his own moved across his face. "So you are." He chuckled.

"Did you really want me to be your girlfriend?"

"Gak!" He stared at her. "I never thought about that, Haruko-san!" Haruko his girlfriend? He had liked her a great deal, yes; he wanted her attention, yes; but girlfriend? He scratched his head. "I guess... Well, you're right. All the girls I've ever known are either scared of me or disgusted by me. You were the first to actually..."

"Care about you?"

"Yes."

"And I do care about you, Sakuragi-kun. You're one of my best friends, and you mean a great deal to me," Haruko said.

Sakuragi looked at her. "You're right. I care for you. I want to protect you. This isn’t like those other girls I liked before… It’s like…"

"Like being a big brother, isn't it?" Haruko asked, grinning.

Sakuragi’s eyes widened as his mouth dropped open. "Yes! Exactly! I do care for you, Haruko-san, I really do. I think… I think that I *did* like you in that way once but now it’s like… like…"

Haruko giggled. "I’m glad we got that cleared up. Aren't you glad that's off your chest?"

"Yes, I am actually."

Haruko gave Sakuragi a brief hug before pulling away and saying, "But you didn't answer my question. Why do you play?"

"I told you," Sakuragi said, frowning.

"No," Haruko said softly, shaking her head. "Maybe you joined the team for me, but that's not why you play. I know you play for love of the game, and for the whole of last year that seemed to be enough for you – just look at the discipline you put on yourself, especially on those last few games at the end of the last season!"

Sakuragi scratched his head with embarrassment, unsure what to say.

Haruko then continued, "So why is it different now? Why can't you push yourself anymore?"

The tall red-hed shrugged. "I don't know."

Haruko patted him on the arm again. "I hope you find out soon, Sakuragi-kun. Actually, I think I ought to call you Hanamichi-kun, my second oniichan. Can I?"

Sakuragi laughed. "Hai! No harm will come to my Haruko-chan when the King Kong otouto is around!"

Rukawa dropped the ball.

Frowning slightly, he picked it up. For no apparent reason, a strange sensation had suddenly shivered up his spine to lodge itself somewhere at the back of his brain. It was a strange feeling, like a door somewhere had been opened to him, although he couldn't pinpoint where it would lead to, or even where the door was in the first place.

"Losing your grip, Rukawa?" another player taunted.

Rukawa ignored him as he rolled the ball between his hands. He, like some of the other newcomers of the junior clique, were waiting outside the gym that the All-Japan used for the postings to be put up on the billboard.

No one was worth his time here. Useless saps, most of them. Kept to themselves, played for themselves, never bothered with anyone else.

Just like how I used to be.

That revelation had been a shocker enough in itself to Rukawa, who had considered his selfishness a strength. But now, as he watched the other players all around him do their solo gig, he found that it was a terrible, terrible weakness. He felt pity for them, and wondered whether any of them had ever had the chance to play with a real team, like he had.

But I left them.

Rukawa sighed. He wasn't going to dwell on that. He had left Shohoku. They knew he would, he knew he would, and he was here, at the All-Japan.

Sakuragi had taunted him so often for being selfish. It was mainly jealousy, as anyone could see. Even at their last meeting on the beach when he had shown Sakuragi his All-Japan jersey, the jealousy-driven anger had been crystal clear in his brown eyes.

Sakuragi could be jealous of him all he liked, because he didn't care. Nope.

Still... It had been quite... Refreshing to have someone look at him that way. Well, many others had been jealous of his talent (although he couldn't be bothered to recall any at the moment), but Sakuragi had been... different.

No! No, he hadn't been different. He was the same as everyone else. Sakuragi was no different from anyone else he'd ever met.

Well, except, of course, that Sakuragi had somehow managed to get his attention.

No! He hadn't!

Or that Sakuragi had the fire for life that Rukawa had never seen before. Or that Sakuragi was the boombox for his own thoughts that never got expressed. Or that Sakuragi damn well pissed him off by just standing in the same room.

I won't think about him. I won't. I've got better things to think about. Why am I even arguing with myself about this? Stupid do'aho.

He sighed.

Basketball basketball basketball... Number 1 number 1 number 1... Be the best be the best be the best...

"Postings are up!"

"Oyaji, why are you taking the tensai out of the game?!" Sakuragi shouted, tugging repeatedly at Anzai-sensei's chin.

Ayako's fan landed smartly on his head. "Because you keep messing up, that's why!"

"Just sit down for now, Sakuragi-kun," Haruko said, quickly jumping to the rescue. "Come on, just sit down."

Sakuragi grudgingly obeyed, although it did not help his temper much. For a few minutes he watched the practice game between the seniors and juniors of the Shohoku team, before eventually lowering his eyes down to look at his hands.

What's wrong with the tensai? he wondered. He had messed up no less than 5 lay-ups, 3 blocks, 2 dunks and 4 passes within the first 14 minutes of the game. He was more angry at himself than anyone else on the court, because there wasn't anyone else to blame on his lack of performance than himself. And it angered him even more than he couldn't figure out why.

Something was wrong. Not only with him, but also with the atmosphere, and the team. It had started out small, but now, a week and half later, it was steadily raising in intensity. Sakuragi scratched his head in frustration as he forced his brain to go outward and figure out what the hell it was. In all appearances everything was perfect. Wasn't it? Wasn't it?

Ayako sat down next to him and patted him on the shoulder.

He squinted at her. "Aren't you going to ask me what's wrong? That's what everyone's doing these days." He cursed.

Ayako shook her head. "I'm not going to ask." As Sakuragi nodded gratefully, Ayako added quietly (so he wouldn't hear), "Because I already know." She tapped her fan thoughtfully against her chin.

Sakuragi remained seated through the first half, and had had wait until 5 minutes into the second half before Anzai-sensei turned to him. "Sakuragi-kun. Get ready, I'm putting you back in."

Finally. Sakuragi leapt to his feet. "Hai!"

As Sakuragi was about to re-enter the court, Ayako leaned forward and whispered something that only he could hear that made his eyes widen dramatically. His face reddened angrily and he stomped onto court – causing all the other players to sweatdrop in surprise at the sudden change in him.

"The tensai is back!" he roared. "Now let's play!"

Aaah, now this was the Sakuragi that had made himself famous the previous year despite being not only a freshman, but also a newcomer to the game. He made quite a number of the players gawk at his abilities, Ryota was surprised but pleased that he had finally gotten his momentum in check, Haruko squealed happily, Anzai-sensei nodded, and Ayako smirked to herself.

A little while more into the game after various amazing plays by the rebound-o king, Haruko sidled up to Ayako.

"What did you say to him?" Haruko asked.

Ayako shrugged innocently.

"Come on, Ayako-chan, you can tell me!"

Ayako grinned, then leaned inward to whisper something to Haruko, whose own eyes widened. She looked at her, then at Sakuragi, then clapped. "Very good, Ayako-chan! Hey, yeah, that does explain it... Yeah, wonder why I didn't think about that before."

Ayako rolled her eyes.

You see, the reason Sakuragi hadn't been performing was because there was no one to push him. Sakuragi hadn't been aware that although he played well to impress Haruko, the other (much stronger) driving factor had been the need to beat Rukawa. Without the super rookie, there was no one to fight him, there was no one to push him to play tougher, and there was no one to work on his temper – because for Sakuragi, his temper was directly linked to his desire to play well. And the new members as well as the older members like Yasuda and Shiozaki were basically nice and generally stayed out of his way.

So what Ayako had told him, of course, had been, "I'm sure Rukawa would have played better than that, don't you think?"

A more romantic way of looking at it: that was Sakuragi's way of missing Rukawa.

And it was evident that the super rookie was on Sakuragi’s thoughts as he played well, because each time the red-head managed to do something successful, he’d smile triumphantly at no one in particular.

The team manager clasped her hands behind her back, pleased with herself. But her happy thoughts were brought crashing down when she heard Haruko scream beside her. She turned and her own mouth dropped open in horror as Anzai-sensei fell off the bench.

"It's Anzai-sensei! He's having a heart attack!"

-TBC-

This chapter is also known as: Getting Rid Of Haruko In A Nice Way Because I Like Her And Be Sure I’m Picking Up The Pace A Wee Bit Next Up

| Back To Fanfics |