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Secret Identity
by Black Rainbow

Author's Note: The conclusion to the series! I hope you like it, and thanks to all the people who reviewed!!!!

Disclaimer: me only own the original characters… Takehiko Inoue owns SD characters, Jahnna N. Malcolm owns story, band name, and songs.

Chapter 13

“I think / I need some space / Because I can’t face / This thing right now / You should leave, / Leave me now,” Hanamichi sang softly as he walked back towards the station. Fujima was walking a few steps behind him, upset, but concerned about his friend. He was trying to catch up for Hanamichi before, but was delayed after deciding that it was safer to put Rukawa in a cab back to Shohoku first – the younger boy was asleep, again, and he didn’t trust Rukawa to get back by himself.

“Hanamichi.”

Hanamichi turned. “I thought you went with Rukawa.”

Fujima shook his head. “I was worried about you.” He walked quickly to where Hanamichi was. “You told him, didn’t you?”

“Hai.” Hanamichi said, giving a short laugh as he reached the stairs to the station. “Isn’t it funny?” he asked, looking up at the stars. “As far as you can remember, you’ve been striving for this one thing, and then when you get it, you give it up for something you know you can’t have to begin with.” He laughed again, bitterly.

Fujima gave him a serious look. “Hanamichi, can I tell you something?”

“What?”

“Some guy asked me out a couple of weeks ago.”

“WHAT?” Hanamichi forgot about his problems for a while and stared at the older boy in shock. Fujima’s soft brown hair fluttered a bit when the wind blew, revealing the dainty, innocent face looking back at him in all seriousness. “Jeez, I didn’t even know you were gay,” he muttered, chuckling.

“He was Himiko’s brother. That’s why she hung out with us so much; she wanted to introduce us,” Fujima explained quietly, his face going red.

“Why are you telling me this?” Hanamichi asked, looking up again, trying to find something that wasn’t there. “It’s none of my business.”

“No…” Fujima agreed. “It isn’t.” He smiled. “But it’s something to talk about.”

Hanamichi stared at him, wondering if his friend had gone mad. “Look, I know you must be really upset about the contract and all, but please don’t go bonkers on me, okay?”

Fujima sighed, exasperated, and decided to try again. “Look, Hanamichi-kun, you are an incredibly talented person. You make people feel things with your music. You have a wonderful family, and you can wake up every day with your stomach full if you wanted. These are things that make you lucky, and you have to remember these things, and take the time to find pleasure in them.”

Hanamichi was quiet. “What does this have to do with a guy asking you out?” he finally asked.

“Just pointing out that I have a life other than the band, too.” Fujima shook his head. “You’re like a child, you know that?”

“And you’re like an old man,” Hanamichi growled out.

Fujima laughed. “Maybe I do sound like one. Blame that on my hanging around my Obaachan all of the time.”

Hanamichi smiled back. He still almost regretted bursting out the truth to Sendoh, but at least at the moment he could take a little comfort in knowing that life does go on, whether he had a recording contract or not. Whether he would ever see Sendoh again or not.

Surprised at the pain he felt at the thought, Hanamichi tried to forget Sendoh, at least for that night. /After all, I’ll have a lot of time to worry later./ He continued chatting with Fujima as he thought of what Fujima had told him.

/You forgot to mention one thing,/ he thought silently the other boy. /I have my friends./

A week later, Hanamichi was slumped on a sofa in his father’s store. In front of him Mitsui and Kiminobu sat, both looking intently at him. Surprisingly, Mitsui wasn’t that mad at him when he found out what happened.

/It doesn’t matter. I still screwed up. I disappointed him, whether he’s mad or not. I disappointed Fujima and Rukawa, too…/

He supposed that Mitsui’s reaction had something to do with the fact that he and Kiminobu are back together, and are (yet again) making the rest of them want to puke at their happiness. (Sometimes you can only take so much of a happy couple, you know…) Recap of events: Mitsui was mad at Kiminobu for doing what he did, Kiminobu said it wasn’t Mitsui’s problem because they weren’t together anymore, and Mitsui decided that the other boy was pretty much hopeless without him, and said so, and they got into an argument, and they made up. Sniff sniff. Hanamichi grimaced.

Other people’s love lives, however much he cared about those other people, was definitely NOT what he needed to think about at the time.

“Hana?”

Hanamichi glowered at Mitsui as he straightened the cap on his head. “Don’t call me that – I’m not Hana anymore.”

“Are you okay?”

“Of course.” He laughed shortly. “I lost not only the only one thing that I strived for since I learned to play the guitar, I also …” he shut up. “What else is there to feel? I feel fine.” He rolled his eyes, ignoring the stab of pain he felt when he thought of Sendoh. Why is that? He wondered. He knew he had a sort of crush on Sendoh, but… that was normal, right? He read that it was even normal for straight people. But the way he was reacting now suggested that it wasn’t just a crush…

A tiny bell rang as the store entrance was pushed open. Hana got up, stretched, and sighed, knowing that it was his turn to take care of the counter that week. He sighed, mentally cursing the customer that had chosen to disturb his peace.

“Hana-chan.”

He looked up to find a pair of deep blue eyes looking into his own. His lips parted. He stared at Sendoh for a moment before reminding himself to breathe.

“A – Akira.”

Sendoh glanced at Mitsui and Kiminobu, and said quietly, “can I talk to you?”

“Ha – hai.” He was about to ask Sendoh to come outside with him for them to talk, but his brother interrupted him.

“Hanamichi, Hisashi and I are going to the shop next door for some ice- cream. You want anything?”

He shook his head as he watched the two walk out of the store. He sighed and turned back to Sendoh. “What do you want to talk about?”

“You have one more week two talk to EMI. If you don’t then you’ll be considered in breach of contract.”

Hanamichi just gaped at him. “What?”

“You heard me.” Sendoh gave a small smile. “Plus, you haven’t been coming to play at /Lost Souls?/ for a week now, have you? Do you know how hard it is to find replacements in that short a time?”

“I’m – ” he took in a deep breath, telling himself to calm down. “I’m sorry.” Then he looked at Sendoh again. “Didn’t I tell you to take the contract back?”

“The contract doesn’t have anything to do with me, or who you really are. The contract was meant for the best band in Kanagawa, which happened to be Androgynous Zone. You won it, fair and square.” He looked out the window. “Can I ask you..”

“Why I did what I did?” Hanamichi shrugged. “Taoka wouldn’t let us audition if we’re an all guy-band. So one of us had to be a girl. Simple as that.” He looked down. “I didn’t mean to lie to you or anything.”

“Does it matter?”

“What?”

“Whether you’re a boy or a girl?”

Hanamichi stared at Sendoh, not believing what he heard. He swallowed. “Shouldn’t it?”

“I’ve always thought that things like love is beyond anything else.”

/Love?/ Panicked, he answered, “Well, I think it does matter.” He ignored the brief flash of deep disappointment he saw in Sendoh’s eyes. “It’s not –” he turned to look at the outside entrance, where Kiminobu and Mitsui was about to come in again, but turned back towards the ice cream store when they noticed how serious Hanamichi and Sendoh were talking. “It’s not natural,” Hanamichi concluded.

It wasn’t true, of course. He supported his brother’s relationship with Mitsui, and their father had raised the two of them to think with an open mind about everything. But –

“You’re wrong.”

“Nani?” Hanamichi turned quickly to the other boy. He expected Sendoh to accept what he said, and leave. He felt that he couldn’t lead Sendoh on a second time, and since he was still confused about what he wanted, being with Sendoh would definitely be leading him on.

“I said, you’re wrong.” Sendoh stepped closer towards the younger boy. Hanamichi tried to take a step back, but he rammed against the store counter and would’ve lost his balance if he didn’t reach out to steady himself by clutching the edge of the counter. Sendoh placed his hands on both sides of the counter, not giving room for Hanamichi to run. Hanamichi took a deep breath and turned to Sendoh, knowing he was trapped. He stared at the floor, not wanting to look at the older boy.

Sendoh fingers lifted to his face, lifting his chin up to look at him. He trembled at the jolt of electric that came with Sendoh’s touch, and closed his eyes. Warm lips descended on him, gently exploring the texture of his lips. He raised a hand to push Sendoh away, but as the boy started to kiss him more passionately, he moaned and wrapped his arms around the older boy, and responded to the kiss.

It was amazing how everything around them at the moment could just disappear, how his world (that usually seemed too large for him to even comprehend) could be reduced into nothing but that one kiss. There was no store, no band, no passersby gaping through the store windows . . . just him and Sendoh. He could hear nothing but the beats of their hearts, want nothing but the comfort of the boy kissing him. There was nothing that he needed . . .

Except maybe to breathe.

Sendoh broke the kiss, and the two gasped for air. Sendoh bowed his head to place a kiss on the hollow of Hanamichi’s neck, before lifting his head again to whisper the latter’s ear, “was that unnatural?”

Hanamichi shook his head slowly.

“That was the most natural thing in the world,” he whispered as his lips formed a smile.

Mitsui and Kiminobu, who couldn’t find any more distractions outside, decided to burst into the store at that moment. They stood still when they saw Sendoh and Hanamichi in each other’s arms.

“Er…”

“Does that mean we still have a recording contract?”

/Trust Mitsui to get his priorities straight/, Hanamichi thought wryly as he nodded.

“You never lost it – that’s what I came to tell you, actually.” Sendoh grinned at them, his arms falling to Hanamichi’s waist, and lingered there.

As the words sank in, Mitsui’s lips formed a slow grin. He shook his head, as if trying to make sure it wasn’t a dream. Kiminobu murmured, “I’ll call Fujima and Rukawa to tell them, ne?”

Mitsui nodded slowly, still reeling from joy. He looked up dazedly at Hanamichi. “You know what this means?”

Hanamichi nodded excitedly, causing Sendoh to smile with amusement. The redheaded boy was so adorable.

“We’re going to be famous!”

-FIN-

White Noise (Androgynous Zone's Debut Album): Track 01-Illusion Lightning (music/words: Mitsui Hisashi and Miyamoto Hana) Track 02-Around 10 (music/words: Miyamoto Hana) Track 03-Behind the Walls (music/words: Fujima Kenji) Track 04-White Noise (music/words: Miyamoto Hana and Rukawa Kaede) Track 05-Hard Knocks (music/words: Mitsui Hisashi and Miyamoto Hana) Track 06-The Last Thing (music/words: Miyamoto Hana and Rukawa Kaede) Track 07-Sin (music/words: Fujima Kenji) Track 08-Toy (music/words: Miyamoto Hana) Track 09-Silent Battle (music/words: Miyamoto Hana and Rukawa Kaede) Track 10-Leave Me Now (music/words: Miyamoto Hana and Fujima Kenji) Track 11-Hornito (music/words: Miyamoto Hana and Rukawa Kaede) Track 12-Fooled You (music/words: Miyamoto Hana and Rukawa Kaede).

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